Wowza. I’ve had trouble lately getting a good nights sleep so I’ve been taking a children’s dose of benadryl. Plus allergies in San Antonio are crazy! Last night decided to go without my sleep aid… uh. Hello crazy dreams.
I ran off with my kids away from my husband telling everyone he was looney and a bad man. He wasn’t. I just wanted to play. I can’t believe my badself! I don’t even know what play means. I was also trying to avoid a friend of mine who was too clingy and also turned a little crazy. She bought me a tiny bird while the kids and I were on the run. Who does that? And my friend - Lena Dunham from Girls. And yes, she was just as awkward and dressed just as bad like the show. I did thought take a moment to tell her how embarrassed I was to be her friend since she couldn’t walk in heels at the Golden Globes. I said something like “Really!? You know me, I could have helped you”. Sigh, I know. I am full of myself.
I broke into a dorm room to sleep for the night and was busted by the RA… who was Christopher Walken! And I pretended to like him to let us stay one more night. In my defense it wasn’t Christopher Walken, but a hot young greek version of some dude that I called Christopher Walken.
My get away car was my mom’s old maroon Bonneville. That car was fancy back in 1982. The trunk was huge and all six of us fit it in just fine.
In the end I called home and J2 said, “are you done?” I said yes… then I drove home from West part of the country - about 7 hours, in my dream i was in New Mexico.
All right your geniuses - I need dream interpretation. As I type I am forgetting more and more of this dream. I called J2 this morning at work and as usual he said - “what did I do now in your dream”. Ha! This time it was me.
As my fellow Catholics prepare for the Lenten season I am reminded by the best sermon I ever heard about Lent and Sacrifice while a freshman at the University of Dallas. I am not going to wax on. I find many people who profess and talk about their faith as fake as they come - probably because if you are talking about it so much are you still talking yourself into it? Just be. Just live it. Just do it (go Nike!)
I just have a few points to make:
It’s not a Lenten sacrifice if you’re posting and tweeting about garnering sympathy how you have given up sugar, chocolate, alcohol, >insert yours here< Let us not complain, whine and go on about how hard Lent is… let’s approach Lent with some humility and grace.
Also, don’t just give up something - promise to do something extra… Put in the extra effort… and again, don’t talk about it so much.
My freshman year at college among scholars and theologians has taught me so much, but the Fat Tuesday sermon by Fr. Kelly in 1989 was the best. Now I must log off and myself prepare for Lent.
The title of the post is probably my favorite quote from my father. I love it, because it is TRUTH!
Being the mother of five, I’ve had the opportunity to encounter many different children and their parents for 16 yrs. I’ve said this for a couple of years now, but soccer parents are the worse. No, really, we are.
This past weekend, my daughter participated in a soccer tournament. We knew we would have fun, there would be some aggression, some fouls and some great shots taken on goal. Overall I thought the girls would have a good time, shake hands and move on. What I witnessed during a game was one child on the opposing team consistently fouling her opponent, yelling at her own teammates (including foul language) AND yelling at the referee. I would have tolerated about 15 seconds of this behavior from my own kid before I would be up out of my chair on my way to the coach to have him/her yank my kid out of the game. I was mortified for her parents - except her parents weren’t mortified. They supported and encouraged this behavior. It is a shame her behavior overshadows her talent, because she is a good player.
Parents please - you must not ignore your responsibility to raise decent human beings:
Fouling - it happens in soccer. We sometimes call it the chicken wing syndrome (sticking the elbow out). Fouling is nothing other than cheating. Do you want your child to gain advantage by cheating - even if the referee doesn’t call them out on it? What are you teaching them? Let me answer for you - NOTHING. I don’t have to explain to you the far reaching implications this has.
Disrespecting authority - one short answer for you - You need to save some bail money because she clearly doesn’t understand there are limits and I see a criminal problem in your future. Listen sweetie - when you question the referee’s knowledge the chances you getting a call when you are fouled are slim to none. They will just hang you out to dry and let you eat turf.
Team player - soccer is a sport which requires a group of people to work together to get the ball into the goal. Whether you believe it or not, you really do need to play nice in all facets of life. Telling your teammates how incompetent they are doesn’t foster an environment to be successful. And frankly, this was bullying. This tactic only works on the playground until you are no longer the loudest or biggest. Eventually even bullies get theirs.
The true failure here is the parenting: When you don’t set limits your kids make them and frankly can we blame children when they take the easiest route? I certainly don’t. It’s already Wednesday evening and I am still processing what I witnessed. I appalled at the child’s behavior towards our girls, her teammates, the coach and the referee. But seriously, what still has me shaking my head is her parents lack of, well parenting. I was sitting with a friend and thankfully I know she would have set her child straight and she knows I would have done the same.
There is something to be said about confidence - It’s great to have and I can testify confidence has taken me places in my career my skill set alone would not have. But there is a line everywhere. This child crossed it over and over again. She crossed it because her parents hadn’t shown her where the line is.
I’ve often posted on this blog about my personal stuff and I’ve mentioned what truly feeds my soul. I love weddings & social events, but when I started using these skills to help non-profits my business organically went to the next level and in turn my life has just been filled with goodness.
This year, through Isabel’s soccer, I’ve met a wonderful mother, nurse and now friend. She introduced me to kids she works with everyday. I had no idea there are kids born with out ribs. Their generic condition is called Thoracic Insufficiency Syndrome(TIS). One of these kids made a short film, with some powerful Hollywood help. The San Antonio premiere is in a couple of days. I am hoping all my friends can come out and have some fun. Or if you aren’t local, please consider buying a ticket for kids who can’t afford it or consider making a small donation to the Titanium Rib Foundation.
TRF aims to help families whose resources have been depleted because of TIS. On average these children will have 40 surgeries by the time they are 18. Often 2-3 times per year. Clay is an amazing child who is on track for his 41st surgery shortly after his movie premiere on Thursday. Please come out and meet him and join me on the red carpet.
I’ve had a very difficult three weeks… All related to terrible behavior by adults. Professional adults, parents, etc. It seemed to me common decency had left us. My kids every evening would ask if I was okay - they could see it on my face. They could hear me say a prayer out loud looking for grace and wisdom when I am usually very private. I’m worn out and it shows.
As 9/11 comes to an end I remember 10 yrs ago where I was, but more importantly I remember being resilient. We had 4 children, Alex and Frank barely in elementary. We didn’t know what we were doing, so young and hopeful. I hope today has brought some perspective to those who have continued to try and knock me down. Today reminded me that no matter the obstacle, I always get back up and get going.
My success as a business owner, wife and mother comes from that knowledge. I experienced extreme heartache and drama early on (21 yrs old - 23 yrs old). My father has always said there is nothing that hard work and spending more time with your family can’t fix. So while other reflect on today’s anniversary, I also reflect on my own will to get up and keep on trying to do good work… for myself, for my kids, for my business and for my community. Will you join me? Give me a week and I will have my youthful glow back. I am only giving you all a week to get it together before I begin to throw the trash out of my life, again.
p.s. pray for family. My cousin lost the family business last week in the fires in Bastrop. They employ a lot of people and a LOT of family. We’re here for you Navarro’s. and go COWBOYS!
It’s 4:30 am Friday morning and I am up with enthusiasm as I start another tremendous workday. I have five kids to get ready starting at 5:30. I have a hellacious commute to my kids magnet school on the west side starting at 6:30. I don’t like it, but my kids are thriving, so it’s my job to get them there early for their extra-curricular activities even though I sure wish they would ride the bus. I fight traffic towards the school and turn around just in time to fight traffic back home. It’s a viscious cycle.
As a person who is a work from home Mom, I enjoy many benefits a stay at home Mom does: I’m here when they leave for school, when they get home. I can stop and take care of them at a moment’s notice. Dr’s appointments for them or I aren’t a problem. I’ve sacrificed to work from home. I don’t enjoy the income I had when I had a ‘regular’ job. But people, don’t mistake my flexibility for less work. I work more now than I ever did when I managed a large corporation and employed over 2000 employees.
Life was easier when I left the child rearing to the husband. Man did I take advantage of him for 9 years. Sorry babe! As my business has matured and brought in more income and more flexibility, I’ve enjoyed spending my free time to my true passion - community service. It truly feeds my soul. It IS the reason I love my job. I’ve got the wedding & event planning down pat so that I can contribute in lots of different ways to many causes. Here is the thing about volunteer work, you work with a lot of other volunteers, some not always a work horse like me. I’ve accepted I can be abrasive. I know I like to jump in. I can also make things happen. I know there are politics in everything. I get it. What I don’t get is the people standing on the sideline, doing NOTHING, trying to bring me down. For the last 10 calendar days I have experienced extreme negativity from people I call spectators. People happy to give an opinion - which is their right - but they have been WAY off base. Because of business and some of the work I do, my personal circle touches circles of influence, power and wealth. We know these people are the key to keep some non-profits afloat, to attain community awareness not otherwise available without year and years of work.
This past week has been the absolute hardest. I’ve accomplished so much for two non-profits this week and have faced the most adversity ever from people who literally are doing NOTHING to help the non-profits. I’ve used my own time, my personal and professional resources, spent time away from my family and business to help these two organizations and people want to complain they weren’t involved, why this, why that? Why do you care other than I’ve brought in big donors, media exposure, a good sports experience for children. I could go into specific ridiculous complaints, but then I would expose them and I shouldn’t do that here. I will personally address them all in due time. Oh what the hell, here is two:
One complainant actually said something along the lines of “I’m a professional fundraiser…. and some other nonsense stuff…” Immediately my question to her: why haven’t you used your skills to help us?
A volunteer from another organization which has failed for over two years to get much accomplished said after my appointment as interim executive director: “Well, I am going to take a class on non-profit management.” My question to her: Why did you wait so long? Why now? People! I’m working 50 hrs per week free to get you through this hump, stop running me over with your luxury car!
I do because I care. I receive NO MONEY. I barely get a thank you. (I’m not looking for a thank you) I do it to affect positive change. I cannot sit by and complain about various things in a non-profit I support if I don’t put in the time to make it better. I’m done crying this week. I’ve had some really great friends who took a moment help me move through, said a quick prayer and in general know I come from a place of good. Thank you!
To you naysayers and spectators who don’t do anything but sit on the sidelines: You can KISS MY ASS. You knocked me down with your consistent negativity but I always get back up and get to work.
So I’m up. Just finished a great report to a board of directors letting them know I just secured supporters who in this town are THE POWER couple. I did that - All by myself, through all the negativity and adversity.
As for the whiny soccer moms, I’m sorry my kid is better than yours. BANG!
Since 2007, I have refused to take a wedding for the months of June, July and August unless a client pays a premium. One of my favorite couples was married 2 summers ago. I am thrilled to have been a part of their wedding. I know this all sounds cool - Jennifer is such an awesome empire builder that she gets to takethe summers off… yeah, I’m pretty cool. I just refuse to suit up in that black Ann Taylor suit and sweat…. and …
I’m still working. Brides are still getting married and need servicing of their contract. I still need to book brides for late Fall and early 2012. And frankly, I have ass loads of kids. If you were getting married this summer and I was your planner, you would already be annoyed with me. Every year, this same week, my life has been thrown into total chaos. You would think I would be prepared, but nope… never am. The kids have been out of school less than a week and I still don’t have a sense of schedule, order, organization… zip, nada, nothing.
I think it takes a smart business owner to not only realize their limitations but to also take the appropriate steps. Of course I would love to make more money, but frankly, I wouldn’t give you great customer service if your event took place in the summer. It is Wednesday evening and I have probably only put in 3 hours of work all week.
Monday - trying to get organized - creating menu for the week, recreating the chore schedule, updating calendars for summer kid stuff, laundry.
Tuesday - I don’t even remember what we did yesterday.
Wednesday - I have washed 10 loads of laundry. TEN. I still have about 4 on the couch waiting to be folded, hung, put away. I managed to make dinner. I played taxi driver. Tonight, I’ve updated my evernote to reflect the grocery shopping that was supposed to be done Monday morning based on the menu that was supposed to be done Sunday. I’ve updated my tasks for clients in google apps.
Hey, I am even down a kid - Alex is at ROTC camp somewhere in Texas.
I think I am a pretty bad ass planner and usually have it all together, but I know my limits and I don’t want to provide bad customer service. So listen to the wise ‘not so old’ experienced planner… especially if you have kids, dogs, extracurricular… know your limits and make good decisions around them.
I am still on an amazing high from my amazing day yesterday…and I continue with high expectations for today as I will see some phenomenal people in my industry today and tonight.
My day yesterday started it as it usually does: prepping five children for school and the days events. Thursday’s are our busiest days.
I personally had a brief court date vs a large corporation (success!), a doctor appointment with one of the kids and then a marathon meeting with organizers of AccessAbility Fest. I am honored and privileged to join the organizing committee this year. AccessAbility Fest is a free festival bringing resources and recreation to individuals with disabilities and their families.
Having worked in the developmental disability field for 10 years, I’ve always had the pleasure of giving back to the ‘house that made me’. I am fortunate that I was raised with giving parents, who consistently gave back to their community, not just with money but with their own personal time and continue to do so. I just spent the day with my brother who is a community leader back home with youth sports league. My sister works with the elderly and does countless charity work with Alzheimer’s. I consider myself lucky. It isn’t a chore for me, it’s really in my DNA. When I left my career in 2003 from serious burn out and a longing to spend more time with my children, I felt lost. I was embarrassed to say I was a wedding planner. I felt like I wasn’t making a contribution to society and I had difficulty saying those words. In 2005 I was honored to design a table for a fundraiser and that evening my old employers were at the event, which was strange… Why would people who with with the disabled population be at this opulent country club - this swanky event hosted some of the most glamorous of San Antonio society. My ignorance! The Kappa Kappa Kappa Tablescapes is a fundraiser! Mission Road Ministries was a recipient of that year’s fundraising. MRM is where I volunteered in between under grad and grad school. MRM is where I wanted to work and the reason I quit medical school. MRM was my foundation for 10 years of success in my previous career. Success at a young age that very few people attain. More importantly MRM taught me how to care for people with disabilities but really, they took care of me.
*CLICK* I can use my new skills and still make a difference and in an industry I love and care for deeply. I’ve continued to work with MRM since. It just feels so good when the time you spend with an organization actually matters.
I just recently carved out some time in my 2011 calendar to help Boysville. You know all the non-profits have been hurting since the Fall of 2008, but this year it has hit critical mass. Through social media (which totally rocks) I met Andrea and learned of Boysville. They care for children who come from crisis and cannot remain in their home because of emotional, physical or sexual abuse.
Last night I attended Boysville’s Arthur O’Krent Humanitarian award program. Their video pulled at my heart. I almost cried. I heard some great speeches from Sam O’Krent (whose family has been a long time supporter), Harvey Najim (no words needed, he is a philanthropy ninja!), Diamond Nichols (an employee AND former resident ofBoysville) all honoring George and Kymberly Rapier. If you know anyone in San Antonio you know of the Rapiers. His speech was so moving. I’ve admired them for years. They give and give and give… and not just money, their time, their support, their everything. He was the honoree, but he brought me to tears talking about his first visit to the emergency shelter at Boysville. Three words: One Pink Dress. (Dangit! tearing up now!)
He wrapped up his wonderful speech and ended it with “No one stands taller when they bend down to help a child”. Then as if the night hadn’t already been remarkable, he and Kym made an unexpected donation. I saw him pull out his folded check. I thought ok, wow, it will be huge maybe 100, 250 or could it even be 500k. The CEO’s breath was taken from him and he couldn’t speak for what seemed like 5 minutes, but only 1 minute. 2 million dollars! The crowd leaped to their feet. If you know the Rapiers, they don’t do this for the accolades. They really do care. ”They create a culture of giving”
While I can’t do anything like the Rapiers… I can help in other ways. Do you help others without an expectation of any return? The charity work I do feeds my soul. Without it, I would be just a shell of a person and probably not a very good parent. My biggest success? I would say its that Alex and Frank consistently volunteer their time even though we really don’t have any extra time. Third generation do-gooders… more feeding of my soul.
Yes! Jesus loves us all. So why can’t we be kind to each other? A post this morning on Facebook pissed me off. Of course, it was from a family member. I believe in your first amendment right. So I will exert my own first amendment right and tell you what I think of those who are narrow minded. You’re screwing yourself!
Lady Gaga is in Texas and I for one am excited for the concert tonight. She is an incredible artist who comes from a strong Catholic background. While I don’t know Lady Gaga personally, having come from a strong Roman Catholic background myself, I appreciate her music even more. Some of her musical tones are that of love, acceptance, tolerance, love yourself - NOT JUDGEMENT. The rest of it is just awesome dance music with incredible videos.
I don’t know about your church, but mine does not teach me to hate -only forgiveness and love. While our church doesn’t support the gay and lesbian community, it doesn’t mean many Catholics world wide don’t support them. No one ever said being Catholic was easy. I have my own reconciliations to make and I will deal with my judgement when the time comes.
You’re wasting precious energy. Her support of the LGBT community is not evil…it’s just human. I’m human, are you? I for one will be sporting some glitter on my face and some purple lipstick, hoping to catch a glimpse of her at the fun gay clubs.
Don’t be a drag, just be a queen!
What’s your favorite GaGa song? Mine - Paparazzi. “I want your lovin’ I want your revenge!”
Life can run you ragged sometimes and when you want a time out, there just isn’t time for a time out, is there? So I lose myself in all kinds of music. As I sit here knocking out wedding timelines, kids appointments, schedules for brides, corporation and the family, I lose myself in the music. I want to share some of my melancholy music that makes me keenly aware of my troubles.
The Frames - Finally ”When you want something so much it’s drawing trouble in your life. When you found something so good, it’s hard to focus on what’s right!”
Damien Rice - a new song, not yet professionally recorded Pretty much this whole song speaks to my soul too. Damien - I LOVE YOU! Are you available? LOL “Well Don’t give me something to hold in my hand. Something else to believe in. Cause I’m over it.” ”I try, but I don’t fit - into this box I’m living with”
Ah yes, I’m busted, I have a thing for Irish men. LOL
And lastly the incomparable: Joni Mitchell - Both Sides Now (I’ve looked at love from both sides now, from give and take, still somehow, it’s love’s illusions I recall. I really don’t know love at all.”
I find it amazing that for whatever you are experiencing in your life, there is music to accompany your journey. Right now, I am in a melancholy state. Hey, it’s Lent! Time of reflection. I like to submerse my conscious into it and then RUN like there is no tomorrow. I have so much more clarity after a good run accompanied with music that matches my mood. So tonight I’ve decided that for Lent, I’m giving up on you :(
I’ve been sick SEVEN days. I am fortunate I don’t get sick very often, or at least not like this. Only 3 other times in my adult life do I remember being sick like this. The first time, I was 21 and alone, pregnant, unable to take anything but tylenol (Jan 1992). The second time, it was while I was in my first year of medical school, so you can imagine the jokes and theories we all had (December 1993). Those were fun times. *eye rolling*
Fast forward to January 2011 and I am so grateful for J2. I’ve been a complete and utter mess most of the time these past 7 days. Can I just tell you how bad I feel for single people. I can’t imagine having to try to get through this past week without my partner. He didn’t do anything significant, earth shattering, he just did… thank you J2! Because of him I was able to eat, slept on clean sheets, bought me liquid tylenol so it could work faster, blah blah… I could go on, but it is amazing how hard the simple things are to complete when you can hardly breathe, have constant disgusting nasal drip and your body aches with every movement and when it isn’t moving.
You know it’s love that will last a lifetime when you look you’re absolute worse and the man next to you says he will still sleep with you. LOL. Don’t get excited - the proposition didn’t come across as romantic as it sounds here.
I met J2 17 years ago this week. I changed my whole life around to be able to see him and date him. Thank you to my 4 study group partners who also changed their schedules so I could work when he worked - it turns out you all did a great thing - 17 yrs later, we are still here, doing our thing.