Jennifer Jasiczek

Snippets of my crazy life.

Posts tagged parenting

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"There are no bad kids - just bad parents"

The title of the post is probably my favorite quote from my father.  I love it, because it is TRUTH!

Being the mother of five, I’ve had the opportunity to encounter many different children and their parents for 16 yrs.  I’ve said this for a couple of years now, but soccer parents are the worse. No, really, we are.

This past weekend, my daughter participated in a soccer tournament.  We knew we would have fun, there would be some aggression, some fouls and some great shots taken on goal.  Overall I thought the girls would have a good time, shake hands and move on. What I witnessed during a game was one child on the opposing team consistently fouling her opponent, yelling at her own teammates (including foul language) AND yelling at the referee.  I would have tolerated about 15 seconds of this behavior from my own kid before I would be up out of my chair on my way to the coach to have him/her yank my kid out of the game. I was mortified for her parents - except her parents weren’t mortified.  They supported and encouraged this behavior.  It is a shame her behavior overshadows her talent, because she is a good player.

Parents please - you must not ignore your responsibility to raise decent human beings:

  • Fouling - it happens in soccer. We sometimes call it the chicken wing syndrome (sticking the elbow out). Fouling is nothing other than cheating.  Do you want your child to gain advantage by cheating - even if the referee doesn’t call them out on it? What are you teaching them? Let me answer for you - NOTHING. I don’t have to explain to you the far reaching implications this has.  
  • Disrespecting authority - one short answer for you - You need to save some bail money because she clearly doesn’t understand there are limits and I see a criminal problem in your future. Listen sweetie - when you question the referee’s knowledge the chances you getting a call when you are fouled are slim to none. They will just hang you out to dry and let you eat turf.  
  • Team player - soccer is a sport which requires a group of people to work together to get the ball into the goal.  Whether you believe it or not, you really do need to play nice in all facets of life.  Telling your teammates how incompetent they are doesn’t foster an environment to be successful.   And frankly, this was bullying. This tactic only works on the playground until you are no longer the loudest or biggest. Eventually even bullies get theirs.

The true failure here is the parenting: When you don’t set limits your kids make them and frankly can we blame children when they take the easiest route? I certainly don’t. It’s already Wednesday evening and I am still processing what I witnessed. I appalled at the child’s behavior towards our girls, her teammates, the coach and the referee. But seriously, what still has me shaking my head is her parents lack of, well parenting. I was sitting with a friend and thankfully I know she would have set her child straight and she knows I would have done the same.  

There is something to be said about confidence - It’s great to have and I can testify confidence has taken me places in my career my skill set alone would not have. But there is a line everywhere. This child crossed it over and over again. She crossed it because her parents hadn’t shown her where the line is.

Filed under parenting soccer youth soccer

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"I’m not a role model"

Wow. The last two days have been eye opening.  I’ve been extremely busy… yeah..yeah.. we all are.  But I pride myself on organization, a smooth running household, well behaved children, etc… You know what I’m talking about.

My December 2010 and January 2011 have been jammed packed with new client business and lots and lots of travel.  It’s taken its toll on my family and how we run things.  My business on the other hand, and my social life are just fine, thanks for asking. LOL

I’ve come to accept I am not superhuman.  In all honesty, I’ve got it good here at the Jasiczek Kidapalooza (fourquare reference).  I have a great partner, J2, who does a lot.  I can’t remember the last time I washed the dishes, are we are talking more than a decade.  He helps with every facet of our lives, personal and business.  We are true partners in that everything I can do as a mother, so can he (Except birth - of course!).  He often does those things better.  But I’ve been the slacker in the relationship, well, not slacker, but checked out a little because I just haven’t been here physically.  

I’ve implemented policies and procedures to run the house and it keeps this well oiled machine going. Yes, I just said policies and procedures!! So I am going to share a couple of these with you.  We’ve slowly gotten away from them these last two months and it culminated with an insane amount of laundry, crazy food bills (‘cause we’ve been eating out toooooo much) and a very dirty house.  This weekend, I’ve focused on dusting off the P&P manual and getting it back online.  Yes, online.  We have 5 smartphones in our house (4 android phones + 1 iPhone). All our phones have these must use apps: evernote and dropbox.  We have one account, same username password and we all access from any number of devices, phone, desktop, pc, laptop, macbook…etc… I think diego tried to get to it from the wii, but not sure if he was successful.  

Evernote: has our ever evolving grocery lists. We have a SamsClub, Grocery List + a Wal-Mart list (all our non food items are purchased here).  We also have separate projects in here: Alex is working on a science thing, so he has supplies, theories, etc… Frank is always composing music, so he keeps stuff in here. Diego keeps a running list of what he wants..top of the list, the new Lego Ninjago stuff…etc…

Most important documents: Weekly Menu - which feeds the grocery list and weekly Master schedule. The Master Schedule isn’t the actual schedule, but it is things we need to accomplish, schedule, get done, finish, quit putting off etc. vision appt, optometry, order new contacts. Jesus, finally find time to put the tile in the boys bathroom…etc.. That tile thing has been on the list since March 2009. LOL. But it looks like J2 and I will get it done this week.  Also on this list - oil change, due about 5k miles ago…also gonna get er done this week.

Dropbox: Currently, we just use it as a repository.  Any documents needing to be signed, I etc… all go in here. We get waaay too much paper from the schools. @NISD, if you would email it, I would respond a lot faster!  The boys, Isabel and Antonio usually take a picture and drop it in here.  It’s come in handy.  Anytime I sign permission slips, etc…I scan and send to dropbox, cause they lose stuff too, not just me.  Once, Alex was in the valley for a competition and there was a problem with his paperwork and he was able to pull it up his phone and boom, problem solved.  

Each kid has their own gmail account.  They are required to use it.  All our calendars are shared with each other. Calendars with google is just the best thing since sliced bread.  I am texted 30-1hr prior to every event in the family and now so is J2.  Each kid is only texted their scheduled activity or another person’s activity if it is at the same time.  We tend to have recurring things like practice.  Alex gets a reminder that on Tue-Thu at 6pm that he gets picked up 30 minutes later because Isa has to be at soccer practice.  Why? Cause every Tue-Thu this kid is calling me “Momma - why aren’t you here, you know I finish at 6pm”.  This week, he was sent a reminder at 3:30 pm on Tue - Thu that he couldn’t practice because Isa was all the way across town at STAR so if he stayed, he better have a ride home.  

That’s just a snippet…So much more goes into running this household / business / life.  Yeah, most days I feel like superwoman… I truly believe there are weeks where I have super powers. I have failed miserably these past few weeks. People, I am not a role model.  But I AM getting my mojo back. 

Filed under parenting